OMG, it's Musk this and Musk that. Can't I open a fricken newspaper without reading about this wonderful hunk of masculinity? Is there...

Fine, if you like that sort of thing. The Spritzler Report is written entirely on a yellow scratch pad using a #10 pencil. Old school....

If you're planning to come to the Spritzler Christmas Gala and 20-course food festival you better not be taking Ozempic. What sort of...

You think it's easy day after day putting out the Report, making fun of other people's misfortunes. I can't sleep at night. I sniff...

Hilarious. Before the election, the WSJ swore up and down that Trump's agenda while superior to the Dems would actually cost MORE money...

This will sound nuts, but last night I received a call from Al Sharpton. He was explaining that after fleeing Germany shortly before the...

Listen dumbass. You don't f-ck with the President's kids. They have special immunity. Think Billy Carter. Sure he was an inebriated...

Thomas Spritzler, Acting Commissioner of the Federal Trade Commission, dropped a $70 lawsuit yesterday against Florida resident Sophie...

Mickey Mouse yesterday pleaded at a press conference for economic aid and surface-to-air missiles to protect the Magic Kingdom from a...

Are you a criminal from South America? Want to receive $115,000/year in free rent/housing? NY is the place for you. Yep...that's the...

Extremely well presented. No fat...very concise. A few additional thoughts: Plug-in hybrids are by far the most environmentally green...

Joyce Slovatnick our Chief Fact Checking Officer comes in this morning and begins to complain about our working conditions. I...

You know what I say? "Fuck Europe"! Do they care about you? No! They spit out their fancy BMWs and Mercedes E Types all the while...

Me? Hating unions? Harold isn't a moron, he got hit in the head by a telephone poll as a youngster. It's not his fault. BTW, Spritzler...

OMG! Relax for Christ's sake. Voldemort loves to negotiate and twist the knife. It's going to end up just fine with the minions kissing...

I've never set foot inside a Jersey Mikes? What's wrong with me? Subway has ignored ‘screams for help’ from shop owners — and risks being...

You never listen! Hello! This thing will be over within a year. As I've been saying for over a year (talk about boring), Russia will get...

Line Chart: 33% of Democrats and 6% of Republicans say there should be a law banning handgun possession. The Data: The recent decline in...

These guys started out as a battery company and in the past 4 years have vaulted to become the world's largest producer of EV car,...

F-ck yeah! I'm a big fan of the King. This shows a side of Elvis and provides a historical perspective I've not seen before. Pretty...