Ok, if you're going to get anything out of this story you need to stop staring at Jana's enormous breasts. That's not helpful and yes Jana identifies as a female. Sorry, a female in a bright yellow skin-hugging dress.
And yes she's a serious journalist and I think you should stop being "judgy". You always judge people! My mother, my friends. You never listen!
I spoke to NYC’s leading divorce attorney — he shared 8 jaw-dropping reasons couples split
By Jana Hocking
Published Dec. 4, 2024, 8:00 p.m. ET
Ah, the holidays: a time for love, joy and … divorce lawyers on speed dial.
Yes, my friends, ’tis the season to be jolly — until it’s not.
While everyone else is unwrapping presents, some couples are unwrapping their marriage contracts, ready to split faster than you can say, “New Year, new me.”
Seriously. For all the questions we singletons face at Christmas — like, “When are you going to meet a man?” or “Aren’t you worried about the tick-tock of your fertility clock?” or “When are you going to settle down?” — it turns out we’re not the ones in trouble.
It’s you, married lot!
Hocking is sharing the reasons why the holiday season is a hotbed for heartbreak.
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Welcome to the notorious divorce season — December through January — when the tinsel might still be sparkling, but many relationships are burning out faster than those dodgy fairy lights your hubby bought at the two-dollar store because he’s a cheap bastard. (Add that to the list of reasons you’re about to hand your lawyer.)
The offices of divorce lawyers tend to be packed after Jan. 1 for some of the same reasons your local gym is suddenly more populated: people are looking to lose a few extra pounds, sometimes around 200 of them in the form of a soon-to-be-ex-spouse. After the “holiday cease-fire” in marital hostilities ends, people are ready to rumble and look to change their lives.
Why is it such a hotbed for heartbreak?
To find out, I turned to prominent New York divorce attorney James Sexton. You may recognize him from the gazillion viral clips circulating on social media, featuring his now-infamous take on why people shouldn’t get married.
For those who need a refresher, here’s what he said:
“If you break it down, fundamentally, 56% of marriages end in divorce — that’s just the couples who actually go through with the costly, tedious and emotionally devastating process of divorcing. What about all the other married people who stay together ‘for the kids’ or because they don’t want to give away half their stuff?”
Sexton then estimates that to be “20% at least.”
He adds: “You now have a technology that fails 76% of the time. That’s insane. If I told you there’s a 76% chance when you walk out the door today, you’re going to get hit in the head with a bowling ball, you would not go out, or you’d wear a helmet.”
I know … it’s iconic.
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So, who better to ask why December and January are the peak months for married couples to armor up — and how they can fix it before heading to D-town (that’s divorce town for the rookies) — than someone who handles these kinds of conversations every day?
Full disclosure: I asked him for a drink to discuss this very important topic because I’m a shameless flirt and he’s ridiculously hot. But I should also mention that he’s insanely intelligent, brought all the facts, and, alas, did not fall for my seduction techniques.
Note to self: work on seduction techniques.
Here are the eight reasons people come to his office seeking a divorce — and the remedies to fix them.
1. “Complacency Kills”
“People get comfortable, and comfort becomes complacency,” Sexton explains. “You stop doing the small things that made your partner feel special in the first place.”
According to Sexton, relationships are like gardens — you’ve got to tend to them. A simple “I made you a coffee” or “Let me handle dinner tonight” can go a long way.
Little things can matter a lot in marriages, says Sexton — like offering up a simple cup of joe.
2. “Sex is the Glue”
“Sex is what differentiates a romantic relationship from every other type of relationship,” Sexton says. “Couples that stop prioritizing intimacy often feel like roommates.”
He advises scheduling time for physical connection, even if it feels unsexy, because “desire thrives on effort.”
3. “Kid-Centric Marriages Fall Apart”
“Your kids are going to leave one day. What’s left after that?” Sexton asks. He insists that prioritizing your partnership strengthens the entire family, adding, “Happy parents make for happy kids.”
4. “The Social Media Trap”
“We’re performing our relationships instead of living them,” Sexton warns. The constant pressure to look perfect online leads to disconnection.
His advice? “Put the phone down, look your partner in the eye, and ask how their day was.”
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5. “The Little Things Add Up”
Sexton describes how tiny annoyances can snowball if left unchecked: “It’s never the big things; it’s the toothpaste cap, the socks on the floor, the dishes in the sink.”
The solution? Open and kind communication: “Say what you feel before resentment takes root.”
6. “Cheating as a Symptom, Not a Cause”
“Cheating isn’t the problem; it’s a symptom of deeper issues,” Sexton explains.
He recommends couples view infidelity as a signal to address unmet needs and improve communication before things spiral.
"Deeper issues" can lead to infidelity, according to Sexton.
7. “Identity Loss”
“When you lose yourself in a relationship, you lose the attraction that brought you together in the first place,” Sexton says.
He stresses the importance of maintaining hobbies, friendships and a sense of self: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
8. “Avoiding the Prenup Talk”
“People think a prenup is unromantic, but it’s actually the opposite,” Sexton explains. “It’s saying, ‘I trust you enough to talk about the hard stuff before it becomes a problem.’ ”
And there you have it, folks. Straight from the mouth of New York’s finest divorce attorney.
Seriously, we should be paying top dollar for this advice. All it cost me was a martini and some cheeky banter.
You’re welcome.
Maybe this divorce season, instead of ending relationships, we can start fixing them — one cup of tea, deep conversation and unplugged evening at a time.
Ho ho ho, now go get laid — it’s cheaper than a lawyer.
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